Category Archives: community

Strong Women-Misogyny and Madness

Black widow
Black widow

I recently saw a  short Joss Whedon speech and one line ( among the many) he said resonated in a deep way.  He said “Recognizing someone elses power does not diminish your own”

You can watch Joss’s short speech here. It worth a view. Continue reading Strong Women-Misogyny and Madness

Do you ever teach?

Those who cant do teach. That is the prevailing thought, especially in the sports world. This is not the case in the martial arts world however. This came to mind when I was recently asked by a parent upon my entering the dojo, “Do you ever teach class?” It was fair question, most people prefer to get taught by what they consider the highest ranked student of the school. When I am in a the dojo I am teaching whether I am in the class or not. I occasionally meet with each instructor before class to discuss what needs to be covered in the class and with whom.

Then I realized it goes further than that. In the same manner I am constantly learning the same applies to my teaching. I am always teaching. It is not something I just do at certain times of my week, but rather a state of being student/teacher is a natural way for me. I was not disturbed by the question. Our school has grown to the

point that there are students who have not seen me teach their class. I do however  make it a point to try and visit every class at some point during the month. When we started at the location we are now, I did teach every class since I was the only instructor there were no other options. But as time passed and the school has grown we now have several instructors and many more training to become instructors. One of my driving philosophies in having a dojo was the furtherance of our style. Continue reading Do you ever teach?

Why the dojo is not a gym

 Its January so let me wish you a Happy New Year. This is the time of year where many people rededicate themselves to physical fitness. It is the time of New Years resolutions.
In our school January is the month of Kagami Biraki, the start of a new year. We usher it in with hard training and pushing ourselves past our perceived limits.Cultivating new energy for a new year.

Its very similar to what is happening in many gyms at this time of the year.. The dojo however is not a gym. Let me share my thoughts and show some of the similarities and then I will explain the differences. In both locations the purpose is to go and stress the body. You can work hard in both the gym and dojo.  Both places are designed to transform your body. Both require a commitment on your part. Both can be social settings and both produce results.
On the surface they seem interchangeable as if one is just an expression of the other. It would be a mistake to think so.
Let me explain the differences between the two.

A dojo is a sacred space.
This is the definition of sacred in the context of something that is worthy of spiritual respect or devotion, not in the context of any of the worlds religions. When you enter a dojo you respect the space because of what it symbolizes in your life. When you enter a gym, at least when I enter one there is no sense of the sacred demonstrated by me or that I can witness by the members of the facility.

A dojo is a place of transformation.
You will be transformed in a gym. If you are consistent and train with regularity your body will change. In a dojo the transformation runs deeper. When you train in a dojo you are faced with who you are at your core. The transformation takes place on an incremental level, subtly. You wont always be aware of it occurring, but it is happening.  You will experience the outward of transformation of your body like in a gym, but you will also experience an inward transformation. Your entire demeanor will change, you will acquire patience, with yourself , with others and with the process of growth. You learn to embrace the journey as opposed to being focused on the destination. This is a very different mindset from being in a gym where the goal is what matters.

Training in a dojo requires hard work
Training in a dojo is hard. It requires a level of commitment not usually seen in a gym. You must be willing to push yourself beyond what you think your limits are on a consistent basis. This is not to negate the hard work required in a gym, however the hard work required in a dojo transcends the physical and enters the spiritual. You are not only working on your body but your entire being as a whole, spirit mind and body are impacted.

Ego has no place in a dojo
There is no room for your ego in a dojo. It only serves as an obstacle to learning. You cant bring your ego into a dojo and expect to progress because it will constantly remind you of what the other people in the class are doing how much better you are or how much worse you are than those around you. It seems to be quite the opposite in a gym where ego gets fed on a regular basis. I can lift more than the next person, my body looks better and so on.

The dojo is a community
You may be a regular at a gym and even have training partners which make the training in a gym easier. When you commit to training in a dojo you become part of a community, a family. You learn not just be concerned about yourself but about the journey of your fellow classmates. The social setting in a gym is one of isolation in most cases. In a dojo your are on an individual path as well. The difference being that you are connected to those that came before you and after you. The sense of connectivity is what creates a dojo family. We have all walked the same path some have started before others, but we are still on the same path.
In a dojo you come just the way you are and are accepted. There is no ideal you need to measure up to. The only limits that exist are the ones you impose. The only comparison that exists is when you compare to yourself of the past. Each person in the dojo serves each other. We spur each other on when our energy wanes. When we think of quitting we reach out and extend a hand to help you continue.

Though they may be similar but, a dojo and a gym are not the same. They each serve a purpose and it depends on what you seek in your life and in your training that will determine where you invest your time and energy.

strong spirit-strong mind- strong body
Sensei Orlando

P.S. I wanted to share with all of you that I just released my latest book and you can find it HERE. It was a pleasure to write and I hope you enjoy it as well. If you do pick it up please leave a review.

Who do you face in the Dojo?

The Forge

I recently had a conversation with one of my senior students. It reminded me that we are all walking the same path, the only difference is our location on the path. We were discussing what happens when our training is neglected. How difficult it can become to return the dojo because we perceive there will be judgement or we don’t measure up to a certain standard.

When I suggested to the student that all that needs to be done is showing up at the dojo and training, I was subjected to the reasons why this was difficult. Let me know if this sounds familiar: “I’m out of shape.” “I have other commitments.” “What will the other students say, I’m a senior and wont last the class.” “I’m embarrassed.” 

There were a few others, but I’m sure you get the idea. When I suggested the student just show up and train, the defiance arose within the student. I was subsequently told, “I cant believe I’m being defiant with you.”
I had to laugh (and I did) because this student thought the defiance was being directed at me when in reality it was being directed inward. I told the student that my position as a teacher is to stand in and for the potential contained in each person. The same way it was done for me when I began. My teachers did not see the awkward student who couldn’t perform techniques correctly, but rather the student I would become if I dedicated myself to the training and practice.

My own version of the above went this way:
I had reached shodan( first degree black) and I told my then sensei, who is still my present day sensei, I think I need to take a break. I had trained hard for four years and felt I deserved a break after getting to black belt. His response still resonates with me today. He said “At shodan, you are just starting. This isn’t the time to take a break, this is the time to train harder than you have before.” I didn’t want to hear that. Not only did I not want to hear that, I couldnt hear it at the time.
What I wanted to hear was ” You’re right, you have trained incredibly hard these past four years, why don’t you take some time off and relax?”

I walked away from that conversation, frustrated and angry. Determined to do what I wanted to do. I took off two years from training. For two years I didnt train. I didnt visit a dojo, practice kata or engage in any activity that could be considered martial. Two years later I started visiting my sensei, who when he first saw me made me feel like two days had passed not two years. His first question was, “When are you coming to train?” 

My responses were very similar to what the student told me. I needed to get in shape, I’m a senior and what will the juniors think of me, I don’t wan to embarrass you (this one is by far the most destructive-Ill get to it later), My techniques are rusty, I don’t even remember half of them. And so on went my reasons. He listened patiently and waited for me to finish. “Just come to class.” was his response. And I did and haven’t stopped since-over 22 years later.

Where do these responses come from? Why do we say these things went confronted with a situation like this? The easy answer is fear. We make commitments and excuses to cover our fear. I made sure I was so busy during those two years that any time I had would be occupied doing something else. Its a ploy to mask fear. The other answer is ego or saving face.

We remember where we were and are loathe to return to a state where we may not look as good, to be a beginner again. That is ego driven thinking. The comment about not wanting to embarrass my sensei is destructive because not only does it play to my ego, but it implies that his ego is as inflated as mine.

You have heard me say many times in the past that the dojo is a forge. It burns off impurities and you leave the dross of your character, techniques and spirit on the dojo floor. However a forge is only useful if you enter it. You must place the metal INSIDE the forge. The same way you have to ENTER the dojo.

The dojo is also a mirror, because the only person you face when you are on that floor is yourself. Its the you from last class, the you from last month, last year. You are always facing yourself on the dojo floor. There is always something to be polished, some technique that can be performed better. That is the ongoing state of the dojo and the student-regardless of rank.
The next time you step on the floor, it doesn’t matter where you are, remember that the greatest challenge lies within.

Face Yourself
One final note:
Thank you for following this blog.

I’m currently working on several book projects and so will take the holidays to restructure my new year schedule, train, and spend time with the family.

This will be my last post of the year.
Thank you all for the follows and the comments.
I wish you all a Happy Holiday Season and a Wonderful New Year!
 
 
 

The power of community

 

 This past weekend we had a promotion. One of the many things I realized about our school is our sense of community. Every rank that advanced demonstrated a strong spirit, perseverance, determination and courage. We had some moments of levity especially with the children, because children will give some of the most creative answers. The promotion took place over two days. Initially we did them all in one day  and ended up with very tired children and wilted parents. Going through the requirements for several ranks in one day makes for one long day a very tired students. We decided to separate the ranks and test them individually. Also the children and adults test on two different days. It makes for two very long days for the seniors but they support the test because of their commitment to the school and the students. 
The pictures you see in this post were taken by two seniors I would like to acknowledge ( Senpai Elena and Senpai Joshua). Thank you for your great photos! (Scroll to bottom to see pictures)
This is only a few out of 400 pictures that were taken over two days. I tried to show the overall spirit of unity we have in the pictures. Picking the ones to showcase was difficult because every picture showed something amazing. Some of the things the pictures do not show are the fortitude the students demonstrated when the test became difficult. One of our seniors-Senpai Mark make a comment which stayed with me. “Each rank is raising the bar- this is amazing!”   
 It was true, each rank kept amazing us. With their command of technique and precision. It was inspiring to see the progression skill. We started the morning with white belts and worked our way through the day until evening with the advanced yellow belts. In each group we could see the techniques get sharper. One of the things that came through the most was the intent behind the techniques. In the white belts we could see the idea start taking hold.
 By the time we were looking at advanced yellow belts there was no doubt in our minds that they had internalized the concept of intent behind the technique. 
 I want to express a heartfelt thanks to the Seniors who helped make this promotion the extraordinary event it was. Senpai Mark who made sure the intensity was ever present. Senpai Elena who made sure the precision was not forgotten.
Senpai Orlando who gave the students a sense of security and comfort.
Senpai Joshua who gave the students a map to follow during their kata making sure no one got lost.
 
 I also want to thank all of the parents who stand together with us in their children’s lives as partners for their martial path.  
Thank you for taking the time out of your incredibly hectic schedules to make time to bring your child to class. I know that there may times its not easy, or convenient and yet you manage to make it. That is our community in action.
 The inception of most the groups started with tears. Even before they were on the floor, there was nervousness about knowing material and fear of the unknown. I had several conversations with members of each group and the recurring theme was the fear of the unknown. After a few moments and they had calmed down they would enter the dojo and they each excelled. 
To highlight the feeling of community one little boy said something very moving. He told me he didn’t want to take promotion because he didn’t want to ruin it for his group and give them extra push-ups. I assured him that there was no way his group would avoid push-ups. More importantly I stressed to him that the only thing that was expected from him or anyone testing that day was that they did their best. He put on his uniform and entered the dojo after that.
 That is what I always expect from the students. We set the bar high, they met and surpassed the bar. Each group moving it higher for the next.
 The other facet of promotion that they only experience on the day of is the breaking aspect-tameshiwari. We only do it during the promotion. For many of the parents it may seem like this is an easy task, break a quarter inch piece of wood with your hand or foot. For the students testing it may as well be a cinder block. Its not easy and they demonstrate an incredible amount of mental fortitude that leaves us speechless. 
There is a deep sense of accomplishment when they do manage to break that is palpable right after the break and they get their pieces of wood. The ones that don’t manage to break their wood get to take it home. I always enjoy hearing the stories at the next class of how they went home and broke their boards. Most of the time they come back to the dojo holding their pieces of wood as evidence.
 Board breaking in itself is not indicative of great physical prowess. Although its not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. What it does is show them how much power they have in a visceral way. It shows them that they are getting stronger, not only physically but more importantly mentally. If you have any doubt as to the difficulty get yourself a few one inch pine boards and punch through them. It requires a certain kind of mindset to accomplish. 
The last group (advanced yellow) had one added dimension to their promotion. They had to spar. If the promotion is stressful fro the other ranks imagine that stress being ramped up ten times as much with the introduction of kumite or sparring. To say they did well would not do them justice. They fought exceptionally well. One young man had recently suffered a broken arm. We were taking precautions so he not re-injure the arm and in one exchange he fell on the arm that was recuperating. The fact that he came back in to finish even in the midst of fear and pain that he may hurt himself again is a testament to his strength of character. They fought  until they thought  they couldn’t  stand  any longer and then they fought some more. When I tied their belts around their waists each one was beaming with a sense of having achieved something larger than themselves.
 The next day we had the adults and Senpai Mark prefaced the promotion by letting them know that the bar had been set by the children the previous day. It was a grueling and intensely physical promotion. They were tested beyond what they thought was possible. They withstood heat and exhaustion. The mental and physical fatigue was a constant throughout their test. Those that fought had to dig deep to find another reserve of strength after a four hours of testing. They found their reserves and surpassed any and all expectations.  You were all incredible.
I am humbled and honored to know you and to walk with you on this martial path.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
Adults One dojo family
Adults new ranks (foggy lens!)
Blue/Adv Blue getting ready
Blue/Adv Blue push-ups
Adv Blue Kata
Blue belt seiza
Blue belt seiza
8am before we begin
White belt kata
White belt Tameshiwari
New Blue Belts!
New Adv Blue/ Yellow belts!!
Yellow belts ready
Yellow belt kata
Yellow belt tameshiwari
Yellow belt Tameshiwari
Yellow belt tameshiwari
New Adv Yellow belts!!
Adv Yellow kata
Adv Yellow Tameshiwari
New Green Belts!!
Adults ready!( Notice the smiles)

 

Respect our Superiors

In our dojo kun, our dojo creed there is a line that states that we should respect our superiors. It has been brought to my attention this week by several of the students that if we are studying an ego-less way who are our superiors?
Its a very good question. The term respect our superiors can be viewed several ways. You can see it from a point of view of those who may be superior to you in skill or rank. It can also be viewed from the point of view of those who are superior in knowledge or social strata.

I pointed out that it can also be viewed as those who are elder to us. This is where it gets interesting. If we see it from this point of view it changes our entire practice.
If we take the attitude of respect to those who are senior to us, and by senior, I mean older than us. We can easily walk a path of humility. It  is a given that we should respect

all those who we come in contact with, in and out of the dojo. However those who are elder deserve a special respect. Let me share with you why.

Those generations that have come before us have paved the way for us. In many cases they have suffered hardships and difficulties so that we can have a better life. This is not just relevant to martial arts, but to society as a whole.  When we show this generation respect we are acknowledging their contribution to our lives. We are each born into the link of a chain that reaches back through the generations, both in our biological  families and in the adopted families of our practice.

Sadly we live in a society and culture ( in this country) where growing old is not valued, but rather is something to be avoided.  You only need to look  at  the cosmetic industry and you can see what an “evil” getting wrinkles, and by default aging is. In other cultures the elderly are venerated and are celebrated. In our society the elderly are discarded, put in homes where someone else can take care of them. The unspoken message is that they have outgrown their usefulness, in our lives and in society. In a martial practice respect is a very important component. You respect yourself, your fellow students, and your teachers.

You are also taught to respect your lineage. As a martial practitioner you are expected to know where your style comes from and who made it possible. Each one of us that studies a martial art is the embodiment of the will of our elders. We are all connected, we are all one. The great lesson that we learn both in martial arts and life is that youth and skill are temporary, but spirit and will can transcend your lifetime.

The pictures in this post are familiar to most martial artists. The top picture is Sensei Gichin Funakoshi which is considered one of the fathers of Karate and was the founder of Shotokan karate a style which is still practiced today.

The woman in the red belt is  Sensei Keiko Fukuda, at 96 she was a 9th degree black belt in judo, had been studying for 74 years and still taught three times a week. She passed away at 98 and is reported to have said at 96 that she needed to “slow down a bit” in her training. She was also the last living student who trained directly with Judo founder Jigoro Kano and the highest ranking woman in Judo.

The last picture is of  O-sensei Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido. Known for its soft and circular movements, it is a highly effective art that is still practiced today  all over the world.

I highlight these three teachers ( and there are many more) because they all practiced way past what would be considered their prime years. The trained and taught even when their bodies no longer held the vigor of youth. They were valued and respected as people and as teachers.

Lets take this attitude into our own lives and respect those who have come before us. It is interesting to note that when students ask me what the stripes on my belt mean, I tell them ” it only means I have been doing this a little longer than you have.” The word sensei literally means born before.  Using that definition we each have many sensei in our lives. Let us show them the respect they deserve.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

What are you willing to defend?

My wife recently shared a video with me. What occurs in the video disturbed me.

She suggested that I post my thoughts on it and here I am. The video isn’t very long and I suggest you watch it for a clearer frame of reference. You can find it here:http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2013/10/22/pkg-boy-confronts-gas-station-robber.kprc.html

In this video we see a young boy (8 years old) retrieve his mothers wallet from a thief who is making away with her bag. What the little boy did was quite admirable especially at his age. However I feel it was wrong. There were so many things that could have gone wrong, that thankfully did not. The thief could have struck the boy. The boy was also in danger of being run over as he chases the truck. The worst case scenario would have been if the the thief abducted the child. A very possible outcome.

There are deeper lessons here as well. What are we teaching our children when we see a boy risk his life to get his moms bag back? Are we sending an unspoken message that things are very important-more important than our well-being?

I have a saying that I say to my wife constantly. She says its my mantra, and she is right. The saying is: “Don’t leave anything in the car that you aren’t willing to lose.” What does this mean? It means you don’t leave items that you value or that have intrinsic value sitting in the car. I learned this the hard way after leaving my wallet in the car once and remembering I did so ten minutes later, only to discover a broken window and no wallet.

The incident in the video would never have occurred if the mother had taken the bag with her AND locked her doors. I’ll take it a step further, beyond things. I never leave my children alone in the car-EVER. Doesn’t matter if its gas or a bagel in the morning. Weather is not a factor either. If its too inconvenient to take the kids, its too inconvenient and will have to wait until I’m alone.

This mother was very fortunate her son wasn’t hurt or worse. She had the right response if you see her reaction to the incident. She needs to go further and take the steps necessary to prevent things like this from happening in the first place. By leaving the bag in the car she was the catalyst for the event, since it was a crime of opportunity. I can’t help but feel that as a new yorker it amazed me that she left her bag in the car to begin with. This is an action that does not occur in big cities, we just don’t do that.

So its possible her behavior is influenced by environment, but ultimately it goes back to awareness or the lack thereof. (See my post on awareness here: http://www.nascentnovel.com/?p=65 for more on that subject)

 What does this mean for us? Well I have a conversation with my kids periodically, it goes something like this:

Me: ” Why don’t we cross the street at the wrong time? “(This is a reference for any behavior that could be dangerous to their well being, but crossing the street is familiar to them)

Them: “Because we can get hurt by a car!” ( Very proud of their answer as they both chime in)

Me: “Exactly and in the whole universe how many of you are there?” (They are silent for a few moments)

Them: “Only one.”

Me: That means that you are special, unique and important to Mom and Dad.

They both nod in agreement clearly pleased at having the right answers and realizing that  in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE there is only one of them and that their safety is important to me and their mom. Its a lesson that needs to be repeated often.

This not only goes for the children it goes for you as well. The question in the heading  “What are you willing to defend?” comes from our self defense course and is always asked by our instructor Senpai Elena. The second part to that question is : “How are you willing to defend it?”

 We have had people who may shy away from defending themselves for a multitude of reasons. Once they are asked-What if your children are in danger? It shifts immediately to ferociousness and devastation. Why not be aware and defend themselves all the time so that they can be around for those they hold most dear? When presented that way, you can almost see the light-bulb go on.

If you learn to be aware, take the appropriate steps, and acquire the skills-you can diminish the danger to yourself and your loved ones. Don’t let it take a close call or worse to begin this. Start today.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando

The Importance of Awareness

An article was recently brought to my attention:

 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/08/san-francisco-train-shooting_n_4066930.html)

In the article it describes:
Recently released footage from a Muni security camera allegedly shows that on Sept. 23, Nikhom Thephakayson pulled out a .45-caliber pistol, raised it, pointed it across the aisle, put it down and continued to pull it out multiple times, even wiping his nose with the handgun. Absorbed in their phones, not one of the dozens of passengers reacted until he fired a bullet into the back of Justin Valdez, 20, a sophomore at San Francisco State University.

Before you make any snap judgments about the people on the train lets examine ourselves for a moment.

How often do you check your phone while walking in the street, on the check out line or just waiting? 

When sitting/standing in the train or any other mass transit vehicle are you aware of the people around you or are you immersed in your phone ( or any other technological gadget) oblivious to who gets on or off? 

Do you text while you drive?

How often do you wear headphones (ear-buds) while outside, effectively cutting off your sense of hearing, which is in essence an early warning system?

After reading this article I took an informal survey as I rode the train in New York City. On one random subway car alone more than half the people in the car were immersed in some sort of device completely oblivious to those around them. Another large group were dozing or had their eyes closed.

As I walked down Broadway, I counted on one block ten people with ear-buds or headphones who would not have heard me if they were in danger and I needed to call out for their safety ( I tested this by just saying “Excuse me.” while behind or beside them. Only two people registered that they heard me.) The others couldn’t hear me because the music was audible from where I stood, about 3-4 feet away. Three people had to stop short at intersections before crossing the street because they were crossing against the flow of traffic and didn’t notice, they were all texting or reading their phones.

As I proceeded  on Broadway I attempted to get close enough to invade personal space, from the side, rear and front. I used ploys like asking for time and directions or just acted creepy and tried to get  real close. Yes it was a busy afternoon, but I really wanted to see what the level of awareness was. These exercises didn’t take more than an hour. Out of the twenty people I approached in a five block radius (I was on Broadway and 79th street), sixteen of them allowed me into their personal space. After I closed the distance I informed them that they each could have been a victim, some laughed it off and most dismissed it, it was the middle of the day after all and  no one gets attacked in broad daylight, right?

Its this awareness that we stress so much in self defense classes. Awareness or situational awareness as it is sometimes called is the act of not walking around in a fog.  You will often hear when people are attacked or when incidents occur that it just happened ” out of the blue” or “I never saw it coming”. In the case of blindside, ambush attacks or spontaneous acts, this may be possible, the other times however you just weren’t aware.

If you drive you need to be even more aware. I wont go into the amount of people I have seen driving and looking down at phones or just not focusing on whats in front of them. Considering that even a small vehicle can weigh a few tons its in our best interest to focus and be aware while driving what is essentially a large battering ram capable of wreaking devastating damage.

This lack of awareness is becoming more and more prevalent. Not only because of technology. I think the technology just facilitates it, but rather we need to shift our attitude of ” I’m not going to get involved, or ” It has nothing to do with me”. When we choose to be this way we are passively saying-I don’t care.

I invite you to try some of the exercises I did. See how close you can get to other people in normal settings
 ( please don’t get yourself arrested) without them noticing. Understand that those who would victimize others are doing the exact same thing.

Make the choice to be aware, look around on the bus, train and the street you walk down. Unplug the headphones / ear-buds and engage all of your senses. Cultivate a  radar of who and what is around you, this does not mean you walk around paranoid all of the time, but aware. One of the first things we teach in our self defense classes is awareness and its importance. It doesn’t matter how skilled or trained you are if you are walking around in a fog, oblivious to your surroundings.

Keep your eyes and ears open.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

Together on an individual path

There are no mirrors in our dojo.

There are several reasons for this:
For us its not practical, the wall space is being used by other items ( for example, weapons).
Its dangerous. We have, what one senior calls a ” functional dojo”. The weapons on the wall are all real and available when fighting occurs (provided you know how to and have been trained in using the weapon). With the exception of the ceremonial (yet very real and sharp) katana which are out of the way of the curious children’s hands, every other weapon is at an accessible height.  In our school, when we fight, being kicked  into a wall or thrown into the wall as part of a self defense scenario is a very real possibility.The two craters we have caused (I was involved in both and they have since been patched)  in our wall attest to this. Getting thrown into a mirror usually ends up with a visit to the hospital E.R. and presents a hazardous situation to other students.

The main reason we don’t have mirrors however is that it allows you to remain focused.
I have studied in dojos with mirrors and I am aware that the only ;person I need to be looking at in the mirror is myself. Usually that is how the class will start out. I will be focusing on myself and then one of my classmates will execute a technique that’s higher than mine or faster and I will find myself inadvertently comparing my techniques to theirs. Its not a conscious act, this is all happening on a subtle level that requires constant vigilance. If left unchecked it becomes a full blown expression of ego in a place where ego is not welcome. This has the potential to occur in any dojo. What I have found and what has been my experience is that when there are no mirrors, it limits the distractions and allows for greater focus.

I always tell the students, when you are training don’t look left or right focus on what you need to do. Don’t compare yourself to others, especially in the dojo, because there is always going to be someone stronger, faster, more naturally gifted, or more proficient. If you look around you can always find an excuse not to try harder, not to give it your all. That is not the purpose of the dojo. When you enter on the floor the only person you need to be thinking about is that person you were the last time you stepped on the floor. Were you able to do ten push ups last time, well aim for fifteen this time or twenty. Maybe last time your body wasn’t at 100% and today you feel much better, then you push yourself harder today.  The inverse may also be true and you may need to scale back the training today to take into account that your body may feeling sub par.
So here is the other side to that situation.  Since we are travelling together on this individual path, it is my obligation as someone who may be along further on the path to help out those who have just begun. This is the essence of the Sempai / Kohai relationship. Those who are seniors help those who are juniors. The juniors will look to the seniors to see how things are done. In a very real way the seniors are the mirrors for the juniors. This has been driven home recently by our two young green belts who have taken on assisting as part of becoming green belts. To reach green belt in our school means that on average you have been training for 3-4 years. They are not in the strict sense, beginners. Yet when these green belts were placed in front of white belts  to teach them basic techniques, I could see the nervousness and the excitement. It has added a dimension to their path that they were not aware of and now they are realizing that you do not truly learn until you have to teach another.

In our lives we would do well to adopt this attitude of focusing on ourselves and yet not forgetting those who come after us. I know it has served me well in my martial path as well as my writing ( where I am the novice). We have to stop worrying so much about what others are doing and pursue our lives, our passions and those things that bring us joy and excitement. The key is not stopping there, but encourage others, through your example, your words, and actions to do the same. When they need help offer it.  Sometimes its a gentle nudge, sometimes it needs to be gentle shove, but if you do it from a place of truly seeing others grow and have their lives transform for the better, then its worth it.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

Next week: I will begin the instructor interview series and feature one of our instructors in the post. If you have any questions you would like to ask an instructor please email them to me at sensei.orlando@yahoo.com

The Virtue of Humility

Some time ago a gentleman entered the dojo to inquire about classes. This is not the first time this has happened and is quite a frequent occurrence. In this instance after some discussion about the class schedule, I invited the gentleman to come try a class to see if it was the type of training he wanted to pursue. I usually get a  number of responses at this point.
They range from- “OK I’ll be back on x day to try the class.” to  “Can I just sign up now?’ However this time was different. He informed me that he was a black belt in another style and could he just wear his black belt  to class. For a moment I thought he wasn’t serious, I realized he was. So after some thought (about 5 seconds worth), I politely said that he could not wear his black belt from a completely unrelated style to a new school where he would not know the techniques. His demeanor changed instantly and he proceeded to tell me that he had trained for many years. My response was that he should endeavor to find a school in the style he had devoted so much time to and that if he needed help in that, I would be willing to offer it. He declined (not so politely) and left the school.

This incident stayed with me for several reasons. Initially I was dumbfounded that someone would even suggest they wear their black belt as a student just beginning in a new school. It spoke of an ego of immense proportions. It was (in my opinion) very disrespectful. After some more thought I realized that the reason this situation gave me pause was the lack of humility. Humility is actually a very important component in our training and life. In order to undergo years of repetitive, physically and mentally demanding training, you need to be humble. In our school some of the instructors are younger than the students, those students need to have humility in order to learn from these instructors.

I have found that the only way to progress is to not only know when you don’t  know something, but to be able to admit that you don’t know and to seek out someone who does and learn from them. To be able to do this you must be humble. To acknowledge you lack skill or ability or knowledge in an area and then to seek out a mentor or instructor requires humility. The other side of that equation is that you must accept the instruction from said instructor/mentor. Its not enough to just be there you have to be teachable. I recently had a young student in a class embody this. When I would state a technique she would say I know ( she is 8 years old). So I would say ” Great! Show me.” Then she would proceed to show me that she didn’t know. We all go through this phase as children. The key is not to remain in this phase as adults (or children).

A part of the process in our school when you achieve a high enough rank, is to wear a white belt again. Usually as part of the process of becoming a black belt, you wear a white belt anywhere from 3-6 months. I went through this process several times and it serves a quite a reality check. You can examine if most of your identity is wrapped around your waist or if you embody what you are training regardless of the color of your belt.

This lesson of humility that is learned in the dojo is meant to be practiced outside the dojo as well ( as most of the life lessons are). Leaders, those that are successful almost always possess this quality. If you look at some of the most successful companies in the world, many of them have leaders who self effacing, who do not seek the recognition, who lift others up before themselves.

We often confuse humility with  being timid. Humility is not having an attitude self-debasement or self denigration, rather humility is maintaining pride about who we are, our worth and  accomplishments but without arrogance. It is the opposite of hubris- the excessive and arrogant pride which leads some to believe that they are infallible. Thoughts that usually occur right before a downfall of epic proportions. Humility is the quiet confidence that has no need of boasting, it is about being content to let others discover the depth of our talent or ability. It is a lack of arrogance but not a lack of aggressiveness in the pursuit of  excellence and achievement.

There are several indicators of humility,here are a few:

How do you treat people who may not offer you anything in return?

Do you find it easy to say ” You are right” ?

Can you easily ask input from others or do you have ALL the answers?

When working with others do you need to have all the recognition or can you work from the background allowing others to be receive the credit?

Can you see every situation as a teaching moment, even if the teacher is a child?

I am certain there are more indicators of humility in our lives, these are just some questions to get you started.

I hope they set you on a more humble journey through life and your practice.

Sensei Orlando
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body