Category Archives: ideas

class, coaching, community, family, goals, greatness, ideas, jackson heights, karate, martial arts, philosophy, thoughts, tradition, zen

Do you ever teach?

Leave a comment

Those who cant do teach. That is the prevailing thought, especially in the sports world. This is not the case in the martial arts world however. This came to mind when I was recently asked by a parent upon my entering the dojo, “Do you ever teach class?” It was fair question, most people prefer to get taught by what they consider the highest ranked student of the school. When I am in a the dojo I am teaching whether I am in the class or not. I occasionally meet with each instructor before class to discuss what needs to be covered in the class and with whom.

Then I realized it goes further than that. In the same manner I am constantly learning the same applies to my teaching. I am always teaching. It is not something I just do at certain times of my week, but rather a state of being student/teacher is a natural way for me. I was not disturbed by the question. Our school has grown to the

point that there are students who have not seen me teach their class. I do however  make it a point to try and visit every class at some point during the month. When we started at the location we are now, I did teach every class since I was the only instructor there were no other options. But as time passed and the school has grown we now have several instructors and many more training to become instructors. One of my driving philosophies in having a dojo was the furtherance of our style. Continue reading Do you ever teach? →

class, coaching, goals, greatness, ideas, karate, martial arts, mind, philosophy, thoughts, tradition, zen

How important is rank?

Leave a comment

Due to other time constraints I haven’t written in some time I will maintain this as a bi weekly blog until I can devote more time to posting here. Thank you for following!

This post is going to make a few of you upset. Feel free to comment below.

The rank you possess is artificial.

It doesn’t tell me who you are as  human being and it doesn’t inform me as to your level of skill. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things either. If the prognosis is you have six months to live-your first thought is unlikely to be “But I’m a black belt!”
If your child is in danger, your rank isn’t (or shouldn’t be) at the forefront of your mind. Your rank is not a determining factor if you get assaulted. No would be criminal is going to ask you your rank at gun or knife-point (it may actually work to your detriment).

In fact outside of the microcosmic world that is your dojo, your rank is virtually irrelevant. This is evidenced by the differing of opinion in what a rank means among styles and occasionally even within the same style but differing schools. I know this may be news to some I have to confess it took me a long time to learn. Continue reading How important is rank? →

business, coaching, community, creating, family, goals, greatness, ideas, jackson heights, karate, mind, philosophy, thoughts, tradition, zen

Why the dojo is not a gym

3 Comments

 Its January so let me wish you a Happy New Year. This is the time of year where many people rededicate themselves to physical fitness. It is the time of New Years resolutions.
In our school January is the month of Kagami Biraki, the start of a new year. We usher it in with hard training and pushing ourselves past our perceived limits.Cultivating new energy for a new year.

Its very similar to what is happening in many gyms at this time of the year.. The dojo however is not a gym. Let me share my thoughts and show some of the similarities and then I will explain the differences. In both locations the purpose is to go and stress the body. You can work hard in both the gym and dojo.  Both places are designed to transform your body. Both require a commitment on your part. Both can be social settings and both produce results.
On the surface they seem interchangeable as if one is just an expression of the other. It would be a mistake to think so.
Let me explain the differences between the two.

A dojo is a sacred space.
This is the definition of sacred in the context of something that is worthy of spiritual respect or devotion, not in the context of any of the worlds religions. When you enter a dojo you respect the space because of what it symbolizes in your life. When you enter a gym, at least when I enter one there is no sense of the sacred demonstrated by me or that I can witness by the members of the facility.

A dojo is a place of transformation.
You will be transformed in a gym. If you are consistent and train with regularity your body will change. In a dojo the transformation runs deeper. When you train in a dojo you are faced with who you are at your core. The transformation takes place on an incremental level, subtly. You wont always be aware of it occurring, but it is happening.  You will experience the outward of transformation of your body like in a gym, but you will also experience an inward transformation. Your entire demeanor will change, you will acquire patience, with yourself , with others and with the process of growth. You learn to embrace the journey as opposed to being focused on the destination. This is a very different mindset from being in a gym where the goal is what matters.

Training in a dojo requires hard work
Training in a dojo is hard. It requires a level of commitment not usually seen in a gym. You must be willing to push yourself beyond what you think your limits are on a consistent basis. This is not to negate the hard work required in a gym, however the hard work required in a dojo transcends the physical and enters the spiritual. You are not only working on your body but your entire being as a whole, spirit mind and body are impacted.

Ego has no place in a dojo
There is no room for your ego in a dojo. It only serves as an obstacle to learning. You cant bring your ego into a dojo and expect to progress because it will constantly remind you of what the other people in the class are doing how much better you are or how much worse you are than those around you. It seems to be quite the opposite in a gym where ego gets fed on a regular basis. I can lift more than the next person, my body looks better and so on.

The dojo is a community
You may be a regular at a gym and even have training partners which make the training in a gym easier. When you commit to training in a dojo you become part of a community, a family. You learn not just be concerned about yourself but about the journey of your fellow classmates. The social setting in a gym is one of isolation in most cases. In a dojo your are on an individual path as well. The difference being that you are connected to those that came before you and after you. The sense of connectivity is what creates a dojo family. We have all walked the same path some have started before others, but we are still on the same path.
In a dojo you come just the way you are and are accepted. There is no ideal you need to measure up to. The only limits that exist are the ones you impose. The only comparison that exists is when you compare to yourself of the past. Each person in the dojo serves each other. We spur each other on when our energy wanes. When we think of quitting we reach out and extend a hand to help you continue.

Though they may be similar but, a dojo and a gym are not the same. They each serve a purpose and it depends on what you seek in your life and in your training that will determine where you invest your time and energy.

strong spirit-strong mind- strong body
Sensei Orlando

P.S. I wanted to share with all of you that I just released my latest book and you can find it HERE. It was a pleasure to write and I hope you enjoy it as well. If you do pick it up please leave a review.

community, family, greatness, ideas, karate, life, martial arts, pain, philosophy, thoughts, tradition

The power of community

Leave a comment

 

 This past weekend we had a promotion. One of the many things I realized about our school is our sense of community. Every rank that advanced demonstrated a strong spirit, perseverance, determination and courage. We had some moments of levity especially with the children, because children will give some of the most creative answers. The promotion took place over two days. Initially we did them all in one day  and ended up with very tired children and wilted parents. Going through the requirements for several ranks in one day makes for one long day a very tired students. We decided to separate the ranks and test them individually. Also the children and adults test on two different days. It makes for two very long days for the seniors but they support the test because of their commitment to the school and the students. 
The pictures you see in this post were taken by two seniors I would like to acknowledge ( Senpai Elena and Senpai Joshua). Thank you for your great photos! (Scroll to bottom to see pictures)
This is only a few out of 400 pictures that were taken over two days. I tried to show the overall spirit of unity we have in the pictures. Picking the ones to showcase was difficult because every picture showed something amazing. Some of the things the pictures do not show are the fortitude the students demonstrated when the test became difficult. One of our seniors-Senpai Mark make a comment which stayed with me. “Each rank is raising the bar- this is amazing!”   
 It was true, each rank kept amazing us. With their command of technique and precision. It was inspiring to see the progression skill. We started the morning with white belts and worked our way through the day until evening with the advanced yellow belts. In each group we could see the techniques get sharper. One of the things that came through the most was the intent behind the techniques. In the white belts we could see the idea start taking hold.
 By the time we were looking at advanced yellow belts there was no doubt in our minds that they had internalized the concept of intent behind the technique. 
 I want to express a heartfelt thanks to the Seniors who helped make this promotion the extraordinary event it was. Senpai Mark who made sure the intensity was ever present. Senpai Elena who made sure the precision was not forgotten.
Senpai Orlando who gave the students a sense of security and comfort.
Senpai Joshua who gave the students a map to follow during their kata making sure no one got lost.
 
 I also want to thank all of the parents who stand together with us in their children’s lives as partners for their martial path.  
Thank you for taking the time out of your incredibly hectic schedules to make time to bring your child to class. I know that there may times its not easy, or convenient and yet you manage to make it. That is our community in action.
 The inception of most the groups started with tears. Even before they were on the floor, there was nervousness about knowing material and fear of the unknown. I had several conversations with members of each group and the recurring theme was the fear of the unknown. After a few moments and they had calmed down they would enter the dojo and they each excelled. 
To highlight the feeling of community one little boy said something very moving. He told me he didn’t want to take promotion because he didn’t want to ruin it for his group and give them extra push-ups. I assured him that there was no way his group would avoid push-ups. More importantly I stressed to him that the only thing that was expected from him or anyone testing that day was that they did their best. He put on his uniform and entered the dojo after that.
 That is what I always expect from the students. We set the bar high, they met and surpassed the bar. Each group moving it higher for the next.
 The other facet of promotion that they only experience on the day of is the breaking aspect-tameshiwari. We only do it during the promotion. For many of the parents it may seem like this is an easy task, break a quarter inch piece of wood with your hand or foot. For the students testing it may as well be a cinder block. Its not easy and they demonstrate an incredible amount of mental fortitude that leaves us speechless. 
There is a deep sense of accomplishment when they do manage to break that is palpable right after the break and they get their pieces of wood. The ones that don’t manage to break their wood get to take it home. I always enjoy hearing the stories at the next class of how they went home and broke their boards. Most of the time they come back to the dojo holding their pieces of wood as evidence.
 Board breaking in itself is not indicative of great physical prowess. Although its not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. What it does is show them how much power they have in a visceral way. It shows them that they are getting stronger, not only physically but more importantly mentally. If you have any doubt as to the difficulty get yourself a few one inch pine boards and punch through them. It requires a certain kind of mindset to accomplish. 
The last group (advanced yellow) had one added dimension to their promotion. They had to spar. If the promotion is stressful fro the other ranks imagine that stress being ramped up ten times as much with the introduction of kumite or sparring. To say they did well would not do them justice. They fought exceptionally well. One young man had recently suffered a broken arm. We were taking precautions so he not re-injure the arm and in one exchange he fell on the arm that was recuperating. The fact that he came back in to finish even in the midst of fear and pain that he may hurt himself again is a testament to his strength of character. They fought  until they thought  they couldn’t  stand  any longer and then they fought some more. When I tied their belts around their waists each one was beaming with a sense of having achieved something larger than themselves.
 The next day we had the adults and Senpai Mark prefaced the promotion by letting them know that the bar had been set by the children the previous day. It was a grueling and intensely physical promotion. They were tested beyond what they thought was possible. They withstood heat and exhaustion. The mental and physical fatigue was a constant throughout their test. Those that fought had to dig deep to find another reserve of strength after a four hours of testing. They found their reserves and surpassed any and all expectations.  You were all incredible.
I am humbled and honored to know you and to walk with you on this martial path.
strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando
Adults One dojo family
Adults new ranks (foggy lens!)
Blue/Adv Blue getting ready
Blue/Adv Blue push-ups
Adv Blue Kata
Blue belt seiza
Blue belt seiza
8am before we begin
White belt kata
White belt Tameshiwari
New Blue Belts!
New Adv Blue/ Yellow belts!!
Yellow belts ready
Yellow belt kata
Yellow belt tameshiwari
Yellow belt Tameshiwari
Yellow belt tameshiwari
New Adv Yellow belts!!
Adv Yellow kata
Adv Yellow Tameshiwari
New Green Belts!!
Adults ready!( Notice the smiles)

 

discipline, ideas, inspiration, life, NaNoWriMo, story, writers, writing

The Discipline of writing.

Leave a comment

Here it is day 21 and I’m 34k in to my month of writing. If there is one thing I want to say about Nano, its this. You want to hit 50k?  You need to have discipline. I also have a new found respect for writers that can produce more than one book a year. Writing is work. After the muse has left town, and inspiration is a dim memory, that’s when discipline comes in. It sidles up to you paddle in hand and glares. Then it whispers: “What now? Are you going to dream your way to the end of the book? Maybe if you wish real hard it will write itself!”

Discipline is what it takes to put pen to paper or your fingers to the keys. not when you feel like it, because as I have discovered there will be times when you most certainly DO NOT FEEL LIKE IT. 

The important thing is that writing is not about feelings. Writing, whether it is a novel, screenplay, short story, blog or anything else you choose to do is not about your feelings. Its not about starting the project. Writers have great ideas about things we can start. Writing is about FINISHING. Its about writing until it surpasses good and becomes great. Its about getting the first, second, third, and how ever many you need drafts done. Then when you finish that its about editing and polish. Its about having relationships in the world with people who love to read, who may want to read your work. Its about going into this with both eyes open. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE. It’s never easy but it is always worth it.

I have 16k left to get to in 9 days, even though the story I’m writing is considerably longer than 50k. I will arrive at 50k in few days. I’m smiling as I write this because that in itself is an accomplishment. It is only the beginning. Remember it takes discipline.

writers write
Orlando

family, ideas, inspiration, life, NaNoWriMo, writers, writing

Take care of yourself

Leave a comment

I don’t have many vices. Reading is one of my primary addictions (thank you kindle!) The other is that I do enjoy one cup of coffee every morning. Occasionally I will even splurge and hit the green mermaid place and pay close to five dollars for what I could get for $1.50. I used to do that often, not so much now since I have started writing at home in the man cave.
I write this because many times we think as writers that we need to deprive ourselves of things in order to be good writers. I disagree. I think the more we take care of ourselves the better our writing. This doesn’t mean we spend all day at a spa ( although that sounds like a great idea), but it does mean that every so often we indulge in those things we enjoy. I don’t subscribe to the tortured artist ideal, I think its pointless. Besides life has enough unpleasantness in it ( just turn on the news if you’re unsure of what I mean) I don’t need to add more to it.

Taking care of yourself also means taking care of your body. I exercise regularly and watch what I eat. The motivation for this is that I want to be around to torture my own children when they have kids. I will certainly be the grandfather that spoils kids, undermines their parents, gets them the gifts that are not allowed and gives them more money than they will ever get on  an allowance. Torturing my kids will be hard work, that requires that I be healthy and fit.

My other motivation in regards to writing is a bit more mundane. I cant write well if I feel horrible. Lack of sleep, poor eating, no exercise, and abusing my body harms me and my writing.
This lesson has really hit home this month with Nano going full swing (20k and going strong). I have realized that I need to pace myself. That writing 10k in one day, while a worthwhile goal is difficult with a house full of kids, a business to run and a body to take care of. Yesterday I managed 4k because I took Sunday off to relax and it felt great.
It all comes down to choice. Taking care of yourself should be a priority, no matter what you do.

writers write
Orlando

community, ideas, karate, life, martial arts, mind, philosophy, thoughts, tradition, zen

Respect our Superiors

Leave a comment

In our dojo kun, our dojo creed there is a line that states that we should respect our superiors. It has been brought to my attention this week by several of the students that if we are studying an ego-less way who are our superiors?
Its a very good question. The term respect our superiors can be viewed several ways. You can see it from a point of view of those who may be superior to you in skill or rank. It can also be viewed from the point of view of those who are superior in knowledge or social strata.

I pointed out that it can also be viewed as those who are elder to us. This is where it gets interesting. If we see it from this point of view it changes our entire practice.
If we take the attitude of respect to those who are senior to us, and by senior, I mean older than us. We can easily walk a path of humility. It  is a given that we should respect

all those who we come in contact with, in and out of the dojo. However those who are elder deserve a special respect. Let me share with you why.

Those generations that have come before us have paved the way for us. In many cases they have suffered hardships and difficulties so that we can have a better life. This is not just relevant to martial arts, but to society as a whole.  When we show this generation respect we are acknowledging their contribution to our lives. We are each born into the link of a chain that reaches back through the generations, both in our biological  families and in the adopted families of our practice.

Sadly we live in a society and culture ( in this country) where growing old is not valued, but rather is something to be avoided.  You only need to look  at  the cosmetic industry and you can see what an “evil” getting wrinkles, and by default aging is. In other cultures the elderly are venerated and are celebrated. In our society the elderly are discarded, put in homes where someone else can take care of them. The unspoken message is that they have outgrown their usefulness, in our lives and in society. In a martial practice respect is a very important component. You respect yourself, your fellow students, and your teachers.

You are also taught to respect your lineage. As a martial practitioner you are expected to know where your style comes from and who made it possible. Each one of us that studies a martial art is the embodiment of the will of our elders. We are all connected, we are all one. The great lesson that we learn both in martial arts and life is that youth and skill are temporary, but spirit and will can transcend your lifetime.

The pictures in this post are familiar to most martial artists. The top picture is Sensei Gichin Funakoshi which is considered one of the fathers of Karate and was the founder of Shotokan karate a style which is still practiced today.

The woman in the red belt is  Sensei Keiko Fukuda, at 96 she was a 9th degree black belt in judo, had been studying for 74 years and still taught three times a week. She passed away at 98 and is reported to have said at 96 that she needed to “slow down a bit” in her training. She was also the last living student who trained directly with Judo founder Jigoro Kano and the highest ranking woman in Judo.

The last picture is of  O-sensei Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of Aikido. Known for its soft and circular movements, it is a highly effective art that is still practiced today  all over the world.

I highlight these three teachers ( and there are many more) because they all practiced way past what would be considered their prime years. The trained and taught even when their bodies no longer held the vigor of youth. They were valued and respected as people and as teachers.

Lets take this attitude into our own lives and respect those who have come before us. It is interesting to note that when students ask me what the stripes on my belt mean, I tell them ” it only means I have been doing this a little longer than you have.” The word sensei literally means born before.  Using that definition we each have many sensei in our lives. Let us show them the respect they deserve.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body
Sensei Orlando

ideas, inspiration, NaNoWriMo, support, writers, writing

Help my brain is on FIRE!!!

Leave a comment

Its day 6. I’m 11k in and frankly my brain is smoldering. Nanowrimo is, for those of us who take a more relaxed approach, like writing at 100 mph. With no brakes. Oh and look there’s a turn coming up.

Actually its a great experience so far. The story which I outlined loosely in October, but has been harassing me since early September, is flowing. Granted this is a zero draft because I’m just writing  and not giving much thought to finer details. I’m just getting the story on the page. I’ll pull out the scythe on the next pass and the pass after that.

Also this is the first time I’m taking on typing the book as I write. I usually write my books longhand, yes its a long process-hence the smoldering  brain. I wanted to attempt typing this time for several reasons. I wanted to hone the typing skills and I wanted a way to keep an accurate track of word count which is not easily done longhand.

At this rate I have been doing about 2k a day for the last 5 days. I find if I do my writing early in the day it works. Also late at night seems to be a good time, when the little ones are in bed. Middle of the day, not so much. Too distracted with other things pulling ion my time.

Will keep you posted.

writers write
Orlando

ideas, inspiration, NaNoWriMo, story, writing

NaNoWriMo-Lets get it done!

Leave a comment

This year I’m participating in NaNoWriMo. I did this roller-coaster a few years ago and while I didn’t complete the 50k word goal, the project I did work on became the basis of the book I finally published. After grabbing control of this blog again-dont ask how that went, I still have the scars. I decided to share with you how Im doing in my endeavors to write 2000 words a day.

At first I thought 2k? No problem. Then I realized I had a life, a wife to keep happy or at least not irate, a tribe of kids, a school to run, two weekly blogs, a book in beta reader stage which will come back needing rewriting, and other projects to write. What the hell was I thinking?

So for your reading pleasure here is the chapter of Sepia Blue-Origins, enjoy! This is a zero draft so it rough but I wanted to share it with all of you.

One
Her body slammed into the wall cracking brick and ribs. The impact forced the breath from her body in a violent gasp.  Heat flushed her body the next moment as she felt her ink flare, muting the pain, knitting bone and tissue. The meaty hand around her neck began to squeeze.  Part of her brain informs her that this is a very bad situation, she ignores it. Always stating the obvious-she thought as her vision begins to tunnel in. Taking a moment to orient herself, she looks up the arm of the mountain that just tried to crush her into a wall. He bares his teeth in what she can only imagine is a smile. Brutes are not known for their intelligence.  They were big, strong, fast, and almost impossible to kill. She was glad there was only one.
 
“I have a clear shot.” said the voice over her com link.
“No! Cade I got this.” She planted her feet against the wall and pushed, forcing the Brute to step back and loosening his grip for a second. A second is all she needs as she reaches up and pulls back on his hand and breaking the thumb, compromising the stranglehold around her neck. It was so sudden the pain doesn’t register for a moment. She hears Cade, cursing under his breath.
 
“Sepia let me end him, he didn’t even feel that, the bastard.”  She crouches under the hay-maker that would have removed her head from her body had it connected.  Realizing that Cade is right-the Brute isn’t fazed by a broken finger, she’s not surprised.
“I need information Cade; I can’t get it if it’s dead.
“Better it than you.”
“No killing.”  
 
She rolls behind the Brute as it delivers a stomp that crushes the wall behind her. This was turning into a bad night. She wanted to take this thing down without killing it, and she wasn’t seeing a way to do it. She turned to the Brute as it was advancing.
“If you tell me why you are so far from home I promise not to kill you.” she said.
“Hunter dies tonight.” The Brute’s voice was a rasp. The words like the grinding of two boulders, all jagged edges and pain.
“What the fu-“Cade was mid-sentence when the head shot took down the Brute. There was a look of shock mixed with surprise on the Brute’s face.  It took one more step before crashing to the ground.
 
“Goddamn it Cade, I told you no killing.” She rolled the Brute over to check the body, finding nothing of importance. What was it doing so far downtown? Who had sent it? Did it really speak to her? Could the Unholy be intelligent? So many questions and no answers.
“That wasn’t me Sepia, and since when did they learn to speak? I’ve never heard one of them speak, ever.” She turned, scanning the rooftops as she answered.
“Me either, I didn’t even think they had language. He was clear on the message though. Someone wants me dead.” said Sepia.
“If it wasn’t you, then someone is piggybacking us.” She knew Cade well enough to know he would never kill unless she was in real danger. No this was someone else. Someone was trying to make a point.
“Let’s see how good they are Cade.”
“I’m already moving.”
“Meet you there.
 
 She had a rough idea of where the shooter would set up judging from the trajectory of the shot.  She ran towards the building she thought the sniper had used. The streets in lower New York were a labyrinth, thanks to the English. She reached the rooftop at the same time as Cade scaled over the edge.
 
“Whoever they were, they’re good. That’s easily a four hundred yard shot.” said Cade as he paced around the roof taking in vantage points.
“Good, but not as good as you. How many gunners can make that shot you think?” Sepia was looking over the edge of the roof trying to gauge how high up they were.
“We’re about forty feet up. How many? All of them. At least all the ones I know.” Cade was crouched over the edge.
“He took the shot from here, not bad. Far enough to be difficult close enough to hide.”
“This smells Cade, it smells wrong.”
“If you had let me take my shot-“She glared at him.
“Sepia you can’t keep doing this, these principles or ideals or whatever you want to call them are going to get you killed. You have to eliminate them; it’s the only way you get to go home at the end of your tour. You know I’m right.”
“No Cade, all life is sacred even unholy life.” she said as she jumped off the side of the building onto the street below. 
 
The deserted street swallowed her footsteps as she walked away.You are in the wrong line of work little girl, and it’s going to get you and me killed one day. Cade thought as scaled the metal railing of the fire escape, down to the street continuing their patrol.
community, creating, family, ideas, life, philosophy, power, self-defense, thoughts

What are you willing to defend?

Leave a comment

My wife recently shared a video with me. What occurs in the video disturbed me.

She suggested that I post my thoughts on it and here I am. The video isn’t very long and I suggest you watch it for a clearer frame of reference. You can find it here:http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/us/2013/10/22/pkg-boy-confronts-gas-station-robber.kprc.html

In this video we see a young boy (8 years old) retrieve his mothers wallet from a thief who is making away with her bag. What the little boy did was quite admirable especially at his age. However I feel it was wrong. There were so many things that could have gone wrong, that thankfully did not. The thief could have struck the boy. The boy was also in danger of being run over as he chases the truck. The worst case scenario would have been if the the thief abducted the child. A very possible outcome.

There are deeper lessons here as well. What are we teaching our children when we see a boy risk his life to get his moms bag back? Are we sending an unspoken message that things are very important-more important than our well-being?

I have a saying that I say to my wife constantly. She says its my mantra, and she is right. The saying is: “Don’t leave anything in the car that you aren’t willing to lose.” What does this mean? It means you don’t leave items that you value or that have intrinsic value sitting in the car. I learned this the hard way after leaving my wallet in the car once and remembering I did so ten minutes later, only to discover a broken window and no wallet.

The incident in the video would never have occurred if the mother had taken the bag with her AND locked her doors. I’ll take it a step further, beyond things. I never leave my children alone in the car-EVER. Doesn’t matter if its gas or a bagel in the morning. Weather is not a factor either. If its too inconvenient to take the kids, its too inconvenient and will have to wait until I’m alone.

This mother was very fortunate her son wasn’t hurt or worse. She had the right response if you see her reaction to the incident. She needs to go further and take the steps necessary to prevent things like this from happening in the first place. By leaving the bag in the car she was the catalyst for the event, since it was a crime of opportunity. I can’t help but feel that as a new yorker it amazed me that she left her bag in the car to begin with. This is an action that does not occur in big cities, we just don’t do that.

So its possible her behavior is influenced by environment, but ultimately it goes back to awareness or the lack thereof. (See my post on awareness here: http://www.nascentnovel.com/?p=65 for more on that subject)

 What does this mean for us? Well I have a conversation with my kids periodically, it goes something like this:

Me: ” Why don’t we cross the street at the wrong time? “(This is a reference for any behavior that could be dangerous to their well being, but crossing the street is familiar to them)

Them: “Because we can get hurt by a car!” ( Very proud of their answer as they both chime in)

Me: “Exactly and in the whole universe how many of you are there?” (They are silent for a few moments)

Them: “Only one.”

Me: That means that you are special, unique and important to Mom and Dad.

They both nod in agreement clearly pleased at having the right answers and realizing that  in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE there is only one of them and that their safety is important to me and their mom. Its a lesson that needs to be repeated often.

This not only goes for the children it goes for you as well. The question in the heading  “What are you willing to defend?” comes from our self defense course and is always asked by our instructor Senpai Elena. The second part to that question is : “How are you willing to defend it?”

 We have had people who may shy away from defending themselves for a multitude of reasons. Once they are asked-What if your children are in danger? It shifts immediately to ferociousness and devastation. Why not be aware and defend themselves all the time so that they can be around for those they hold most dear? When presented that way, you can almost see the light-bulb go on.

If you learn to be aware, take the appropriate steps, and acquire the skills-you can diminish the danger to yourself and your loved ones. Don’t let it take a close call or worse to begin this. Start today.

strong spirit-strong mind-strong body

Sensei Orlando